Tabletop
by Unnecessarily Cryptic Fan
Summary: Chaos runs in the Black Order role-playing club. Former game master, the Millennium Earl, is missing. In his absence, Road has taken control of the poor exorcists' fates. Can anyone stop this madwoman? Sure. If anyone can roll a D20.


"I don't know, Allen." Lenalee deflated with a sigh against the locker next to his, waiting patiently as he grabbed his books, and fixed his piercing in the door's mirror, "I have a bad feeling about this."

The door slammed, and echoed with a metallic ting. "It'll be fine. I've known her almost as long as I've known you, and she's… She's, um…"

"A psychopath?"

"Not quite what I was going for. She'll be great. She just… Enjoys our pain."

Lenalee sighed. "That's very comforting."

"But, you know, she's very creative."

"In torture methods."

"She gets good grades."

"…"

He scratched behind his ear, and fell into step with her in the hallway. The Order was very elite (therefore, not many students attended), so it wasn't hard to notice a bright mop of red hair, as its owner sidled up next to Lenalee, raising his arm to ruffle Allen's hair over her head.

"Guys. The Earl is gone. He's not here."

"Already?" Allen squawked awkwardly, causing a few people to stare, "But we haven't beat him yet… He-he wasn't supposed to leave until next Thursday!"

"Oh, God," Lenalee covered her face with her hands. "She's not ready. She'll be grabbing out of nowhere for ideas. She'll _kill us all_."

Lavi jumped in front of her. "Lenalee, girl, get ahold of yourself," he said, shaking her shoulders with quite some force. "This woman knows what she's doing. We need to think up a battle plan, a strategy…!"

"But we have no idea what she's plotting," Allen added.

"Thank you. That's very reassuring."

"I know, I'm just overflowing with good feelings today."

"Reever!" Lenalee announced to the air. "_He_'ll know what to do."

Lavi's face visibly sagged. "He can't help us now."

"You make it sound like he's died."

"Close. He's out with swine."

"Pigs?"

"Flu, you albino shortstop. Get to class."

"Yu, honestly," Lavi grinned up at the arrival of his temperamental friend. "I am absolutely positive you became a hall monitor to torment lowerclassmen."

Said monitor made some nondescript grunting noise before turning around to stalk off in the other direction.

Despite the taunting, the redhead certainly did not want the boy to have a personal vendetta against him. "I, uh, I _should _get going. Lenalee, your brother is terrifying when I'm late. Think you could win me some favor on his part?"

"Sorry. He saw you grab my ass on New Year's." Lavi snickered, Allen slapped the back of his head. "Komui will never forgive, and never forget," she smiled maliciously. "Now, if you could just save me from the baroness this afternoon, I may find some way to sway his opinion."

"Oh, sorry, stranger, I've gotta go," Lavi yelped, far more scared of the she-devil than Komui's unholy wrath.

Allen chuckled, and stepped back beside Lenalee.

"We _are _gonna die after school."

"_Thank_ you, Allen. I feel _so_ much better now."

"Hey, I'm her favorite. You know I'm going to get the worst of it."

She hummed in agreement, twisting her fingers behind her back. "Hey," she muttered, "It's just gym."

"I gotcha, you delinquent. I can't afford to skip this one." His thumb hooked in a belt loop as he grinned sheepishly at the floor. "Student record and all that. I'm an honor roll student, here. And Lavi's right, man, if your brother ever discovers a male within a fifty foot radius of you, in the middle of class time no less, it's going to mean hell for that poor bastard."

Lenalee pouted. "Alright. But you'd better meet me before the duel."

"Room 117. Bring your supplies."

.

Road crouched outside the girls bathroom, knees up and feet together in front of her. Binding strained, an open composition book weighed against her thighs as she scrawled furious notations and concepts into its formerly empty pages.

"Princess!" Her twin cousins chirped simultaneously before collapsing on either side of her.

Her nose crinkled as she glared first to her right, then her left. "Keep it down, you idiots. I need this time to work."

Jasdero leaned forward from her right, blonde hair falling in a mess over his shoulder. "What're you working on?"

"Yeah, why would you _work _when you're _ditching class_?"

"Hmm, just some fun ideas for our cute little friends," she hummed. "Since the Earl is taking a break, I thought I'd give them a taste of my personal flavor."

The twins exchanged disgusted looks over her head. She rolled her eyes at their literal interpretations.

"Tyki says," David pointed out, "You're not ready for this. It's a big deal to him, you know. That Walker kid is his favorite."

She frowned and continued scribbling madly. "I'll be _fine_. It's _them _I'd be concerned about if I were you. I know _exactly_," she cooed with a smirk as her pen lifted from the page, "What I'm going to do."

.

The dreaded final bell was approaching. Lavi had tuned out the monotonous drawl of the Panda, as he focused his single green eye on the clock. It's not like he needed to learn _more _Latin, anyway. Beneath the desk, he sent messages to his teammates, detailing what to do before the anticipated clashing of forces. Only Kanda responded before the bell, with a simple and tactful, _'fuck you, rabbit.' _The redhead combed his fingers through his hair, exhaling slowly when a sharp ring resonated in the classroom.

Crouching under the weight of his bag, he heaved himself up the staircase to the almost vacant science room, where Allen and Kanda seemed to be in fierce debate over how to deal with their current situation, and Lenalee seemed just about ready to grab both their ears and twist, hard. Lavi knocked on the open door as he entered. Three sets of eyes snapped up to him.

Allen, as per usual, appeared a strange combination of determined, melodramatically desperate, and scared shitless.

Lenalee looked nervous.

Kanda looked _pissed_. But what else was new?

Their tools were spread on the long lab table, atop which they both sat cross-legged, and it sort of looked like they were trying to burn holes through his cranium with their eyes, just to see if it would help anything. Lavi grinned nervously in response.

Lavi walked up to them and slammed his hands on the table, rattling their weapons. "We can do this, guys. Are we wimps, or are we _heroes_? We will face this like _men!!_" Lenalee grinned. Lavi added an obligatory, "And woman."

"Allen!" squealed the feared voice, from the doorway. There stood the source of their agony, a freshman girl with wild, spiky black hair, and bright golden eyes. Her grin was wide as she rushed forward to hug the said albino, only to trip over a stray plastic chair and land with her upper half spread out on a desk.

Quickly regaining herself, she stood and dusted off her lacy black skirt, and coughed quietly into her fist. "Hi." With that, she set to dumping the contents of her backpack onto a spare table, grabbing at a few items. A large sheet of paper, a little grey pouch that rattled when she snatched it, a bag of thirty or so pens, and three or four sizable books.

"Alright," Road breathed out, a smile slowly tugging at the corner of her lips as her heels clicked on the classroom's linoleum. The air was heavy with the anxious demeanors of those in the room. All eyes were fixed on her. Cautiously, as if the table would break under her hands, she placed her palms atop the vast, blank graph paper. A binder was tucked under her thin arm. "Let's do this."

"R-Road," Allen piped up, fidgeting a bit in his chair, "Is this a good idea?"

"I'm sure the Earl will only be out for a few days… We can just call this off until then, right?" Lenalee gnawed at her lower lip.

Lavi scratched at the back of his neck.

Kanda glared up at her through his bangs.

"No," Road announced. "I can do this. Prepare yourselves for _torture_, you brats." Her thin, dark fingers squeezed the head of a tabletop figurine. "I am your_ dungeon master_."

**Baahh, don't kill me for this. I thought it up while in the shower at two AM. And, if you think they're taking it too seriously, you're obviously not a tabletop gamer. That shit will consume your life.**

**Gruh, also, real-life albinos have terrible (I mean **_**terrible**_**) eyesight, and need to avoid the sun. So expect a few jokes at Allen's expense.**


End file.
